Are you self conscious about your appearance?
Or do you have a friend or relative who is self conscious?
I want to share with you a story and a theory as to why a person might be self conscious.
When I was younger, before I became an Image Consultant, I was dating a guy named George.
I was waiting for George to pick me up. I had a few minutes and I laid down to take a quick nap.
When I woke up I looked in my magnifying mirror to check my makeup.
I was horrified to see the beginnings of a pimple on the end of my nose.
My doorbell rang and I had no time to pop the pimple and camouflage it with makeup.
George greeted me with,
“You look nice tonight.”
“No I don’t, I have a pimple on the end of my nose. “ George squinted at me.
“I can’t see it.”
“Well it’s there, right on the end of my nose.”
George still could not see it.
I admit, that George’s eye sight was not the greatest.
On the other hand, I have eyes like an eagle.
I see every little detail, especially my flaws.
Even as a child, I would notice the smallest flaws in my appearance.
I would also notice when other people looked bad or looked good.
I thought everyone was as visually aware as me.
When I read the book,” How Your Child Is Smart,” by Dawna Markova, I discovered that not everyone is as visually aware as me.
I used to think my self-consciousness was entirely due to my mother being so critical of me.
I now believe my “learning style,” how my brain is wired, was the other contributing factor.
Have you been self-conscious since you were a child?
The way you process information may be the cause.
I will try to explain about learning styles in the next few paragraphs.
We all use our eyes,(visual sense) our bodies (kinesthetic sense) and our voices and ears (auditory senses) to learn.
There are six different learning styles or learning orders according to Dawna Markova, teacher, therapist and author of many books including “Your Child Is Smart.”
The order in which we use our senses determines how we are smartest, what makes us feel balanced and what sense is the slowest to come but most deeply felt.
In her book,”Your Child Is Smart,” Dawna Markova describes these 6 different learning patterns. The difference in learning styles, is the order in which we use our senses.
There is a front or conscious sense (the way we “bite,” into information) and how we are most aware of whats going on outside of us.
The middle or next sense uses the sub-conscious to help us be aware of both inside and outside and sort information.
The third step in processing information into our brains and bodies is called the unconscious or back channel, It is the slowest to come but often the most creative part of us and the most deeply felt.
Two of the six learning patterns begin with the Visual pattern. These are VKA- Visual, Kinesthetic and Auditory and VAK,- Visual Auditory and Kinesthetic.
If you have the VKA or VAK pattern, you will be visually aware, and you are likely to be self-conscious.
When you have this learning style, you feel what you see.
When I got trained as a Color 1, Personal Image Consultant and learned how to use color and proportion to look visually balanced, something amazing happened.
Because of my VKA learning style, and feeling what I see, when I looked in the mirror, and I saw that I was visually balanced, my feelings of self-consciousness began to disappear.
If any of those old negative messages tape recorded in my brain pop up, I take a deep breath and use “positive self talk,” to turn off the messages.
My old self consciousness has been replaced by self-confidence.
Before I knew how to put myself together using color and proportion to look visually pleasing, I felt self-conscious.
Now, because I know I look visually balanced, I can leave the house and not feel self-conscious.
If you are self-conscious about your appearance, especially if you have felt that way since you were young, it’s likely that you are visually smart.
Here are some other indications that you are visually smart.
- Do you learn best by reading or watching
- Do you feel energized when you write
- Are you comfortable with direct and sustained direct eye contact
- Do you organize by writing lists?
If are visually aware, you still use your kinesthetic and auditory senses , but in order to process information, you first have to see something or at least visualize it in your imagination.
Does this sound like you?
If you are self-conscious about your appearance, this does not mean you have low self esteem or that you are self-centered. It’s more likely that the self-consciousness comes from the way your brain is wired to process information.
I have talked in past posts about the magic that happened for me when I discovered what colors and styles looked good on me.
You can have this magic too.
The way to overcome self consciousness is to get educated about what looks good on you.
When you learn how to look visually balanced, using flattering colors and styles, you can replace self consciousness with self confidence.
Want to know what your learning style is?
Get “Your Child Is Smart,” by Dawna Markova or go to her website,www.Smartwired.org.
The website is targeted towards parents who want to understand their children.
If you want to understand your “Inner Child,” I highly recommend ,” Your Child Is Smart.” I believe this was Dawna’s first book. She has written about 6 or 7 books but I found her first book the easiest to understand.
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Think you might be ready to replace self-consciousness with self-confidence? To far away to meet in person?
Call or e-mail to set up a Complimentary 20 minute telephone consult. The telephone consult I am currently offering is FREE, with no obligation, but I only have a few of these slots available each month.
The purpose of the telephone consult is to help you determine what your fashion personality is and to help me better understand what your needs are. Say goodbye to those, “Nothing to wear moments.” I am now doing long distance consultations using the telephone, and digital pictures sent on-line.
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Nancy Goldblatt, “The Wardrobe Wizard,” is a “Color 1,” Personal Image Consultant who specializes in working with mid-life women whose size and shape has changed and who have too many clothes and “nothing to wear.” After a woman works with “The Wardrobe Wizard,”she will have a wallet of her best colors and styles, and a pared down closet. She will learn how to mix and match her best looks so she can get dressed “lickety split,” and look great everyday.
Nancy@WardrobeWiz.com, 410-513-9496, WWW.WardrobeWiz.com
“The Wardrobe Wizard,” also works with younger women and is available to work with men. She was trained by Joanna Nicholson, founder of Color 1 Associates an International Image & Style Company.
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